Casual Cogitations

It then becomes a tug of war between the developers (or more precisely, game designers), who want the game to be as rich and detailed as reasonably possible (exception to this rule: EA), and the publishers, who just want a game that's 'good enough for the kids' to be released at some point during this millennium...assumedly so that they can cackle evilly while rubbing their glistening, naked bodies with 100 dollar bills and the blood of the innocent, or whatever it is that game publishers actually do.

The root of this problem, of course, is that there is a rather large amount of moolah to be made in the games biz these days. And while the marketing people have obviously seen the statistics indicating that the average console gamer is now in their 20s and 30s, they are clearly refusing to actually respond to this shift. This leads me to believe that they therefore simply assume that most console gamers are blithering idiots as compared to their PC-playing brethren (definitely NOT an exception to this rule: EA). Among other things, this means that the battle for 'user friendliness' is slowly turning console gaming into a form of entertainment slightly less challenging (and certainly less interesting) than scratching yourself with rusty pruning shears (try it some time). Ok, please don't actually try it some time, or at the very least film it and put it on YouTube so we can all enjoy it.

One of the most obvious recent examples of this "Gaming for Dummies" philosophy is Assassin's Creed. Now please don't get me wrong, I quite liked the game: the gorgeous visuals, sublime setting, and almost meditative gameplay ensured that it was an impressive experience. What a shame, then, that it also single-handedly led to the creation of the phrase "Press X to Win." There is just no challenge to this game at all, no punishment for failure, and certainly no need to do anything in a fight but block and tap X to counter and instantly kill your opponent ad infinitum, until you've eventually finished the game or worn that little blue button down to the point that you need a new controller.

Devil May Cry 4 is another example of oversimplification damaging the challenge in games (and thus fun and replayability). Once upon a time fighting games and beat'em ups used to require an 82 button combo just to walk forward a step; DMC4, on the other hand, could be considered exceedingly complex only in a parallel universe where you have a great deal of difficulty remembering to press Y or feed yourself. Examples of the stunningly difficult to master, advanced combat manoeuvres that DMC4 forces you to learn include Tap Y - Y - Y; or maybe Tap Y and then hold Y; and of course, the dreaded Tap Y five times in a row.

I' m all for not having to master ridiculously long combos in games, but seriously, Capcom, one freaking button? As though that wasn't going to get old super fast! Combine it with the fact that all the cool fights happen in cutscenes, and it's a wonder that they didn't just release this as an anime and cut out the middleman completely.

Then, of course, there's Army of Two: a game which so fails to live up to its potential that it's actually kind of heartbreaking. This was meant to be a complex, enjoyable co-op experience with legitimate tactics, genuine teamwork-based moves, and a slick, modern storyline chock full of bad-assery and more machismo than a Village People song. The sad part is that a fair bit of this stuff was in the game initially, but was then stripped out due to the fact that half the features didn't work properly, and the other half might have required a modicum of intelligence on the part of the player. What we got instead was a game so hacked up and crippled by a desire to be more palatable to Joe Dumb Consolegamer that it is now just a buggy, repetitive mess that is half unplayable and half too boring to bother playing anyway.


I guess I just love the irony (if crying, wailing, and much gnashing of teeth can be classified as 'love') of the idea that while modern games are supposed to be all about freedom - bigger worlds, more expansive ideas, and emergent gameplay - the people in charge of the cash get scared and think that gamers can't handle this freedom with their fragile, pea-sized brains and thus won't spend money on it unless there's a tutorial window every 30 seconds, or an incredibly irritating "guide" character like Burnout Paradise's DJ Atomica - may he die a horribly slow and infinitely painful death.

The really absurd thing is the fact that numerous titles in recent times have been highly successful, despite requiring the player to occasionally exercise their brain matter and think for themselves. Titles like Oblivion, for example, or the Orange Box, do not feel the need to mollycoddle the player and thus actually manage to encourage creativity and immersion. How popular do you think the GTA series would be if every aspect of the game not directly related to the storyline was removed due to being too difficult?

When that ridiculous thought has finished percolating, take a look over at the PC gaming shelf in your local GameStop and consider why it is that genres like 4X games, turn-based strategy, RTS, or hardcore RPGs are still considered "inappropriate" for consoles? Sure, once upon a time digital control methods and lackluster system specs might have made these styles of game a no-no, but why couldn't Neverwinter Nights 2 or the phenomenal Sins of a Solar Empire be ported over these days? If it's a matter of controls, it's already been shown that RTS can be pretty decent on console (see Tiberium Wars), plus there is always the option of hooking a keyboard into a USB slot (which all the next-gen consoles should be taking advantage of anyway) and enjoying all those sexy beige function keys.

I don't think anyone really looks back on the dark old days of keyboard overlays and 600 page manuals with much in the way of teary-eyed nostalgia, but the sheer contempt exhibited toward console gamers through today's stupidly simple design is more than a little insulting. If a game like Army of Two is sold specifically to adults (as an MA rating and more swearing than a Tarantino flick would seem to indicate), shouldn't it be assumed that the adults playing it are in possession of enough adult intelligence to comprehend the finer points of play?

It's a scary thought, but maybe we'll eventually get to the stage where "Press X to Win" will be more than just a facetious little comment made by a particularly witty forum goer. Imagine, if you will, the public relations department's wet dream of the perfect game: every jump will land, every race will be won, every damsel will be rescued (and/or ravished, depending on whether you're playing as Conan or Mario), and every enemy will fall before your unintentionally hilarious, but undeniably phallic blade. Best of all it will all be so incredibly intuitive and user friendly that you won't actually have to even touch the controller. Oh wait, looks like we just invented cinema!

In all seriousness, though, the only way this alarming trend toward assumed console gamer idiocy can be stopped is by making a stand for our rights as people who somehow manage to both play games and not be morons. We are the generation of the information age - not only can we operate the microwave and program the VCR, we can also perform financial analysis, create complex websites, and program the very presentation software that marketing folk use to try to prove that the video game consumer of the internet generation is still the mental equivalent of the snotty 10 year old that was the primary consumer of games in the 80s and 90s. And yes, we also play games.

So if you are sick to death of annoying tutorials; if you've had enough of awesome gameplay features being cut right before release due to 'complexity' issues; if you are ready to murder the next PR drone that talks about "accessibility" or "user-friendliness" as a substitute for good old fashioned fun, then do something about it! Jump onto a forum, send off an angry email, and most of all, refuse to buy condescending, oversimplified games if that is what it takes to let them know that we resent being treated like the children that are no longer the primary audience of consoles (and have not been for a damn long time). If the software giants are rocked by enough consumer pressure to get rid of this ridiculous "Gaming for Dummies" design ethos, then maybe, just maybe, they will realize that their target audience deserves to be treated like the adults they know we are.